CELLAR

190801 20:O8 CELLAR is due to my being located physically at two computers at two different locations at two different places not at thge same place or time, so I refer parts to each other.

But also I might not yet be established at the other web site anyway. So here you find parts that connect to other parts maybe not yet on line.

Consider the non-death experience; in which one is aware of immediate mortal danger, and then is injured, and maybe unconscious, but is saved: Does one in the crucial instants accept death as experience? And what of one's sense of the fates of those one cares about who maybe are in same situation? [this thought connects to my title "sinbiosis"]

also sinbiosis: When in conflict situation, with associate (friend, etc) who is bothered by something, but for practical reasons should be informed of yet another difficulty, one must decide as to necessity to immediately inform or spread the burden --- one may worsen the situation by delay, as well as offending the other person. In a good relationship each learns how the other operates: and such can be discussed, and patience remembered.

also sinbiosis: Psychotherapy must concentrate on pairs who function as coordinated sick units (say, Bonny and Clyde) --- the tendency to say, gee if only she wer not with him, is useless. People do actually gravitate to one another, and time goes by, with mutual effects profound. Of course, we see this pattern in family violence situations, but that is a special case, and should not distract us from more subtle interweavings of character seen in everyday life. {I discuss family violence etc in my titles, "What Do Men Want?" and "Auntiebodies", as well as my section dedicated to improving law with regard to intergender relationships, "Iron Elf"}

Auntiebodies: How about a version of Hamlet's "To Be Or Not To Be" , as "To Hit Or Not To Hit..."

cf: my title: "The Christopher Robin Method" I would like to first insert the nasty letter I would like to send to some outfit, like Oslo Sporvei (trams etc), and then have it rewritten by some diplomatic type.

a thought for "Sinbiosis": People tend to see an outfit like the local transportation system as something to step on, rather than to relate with; but citizens must relate to bureaucracies etc so bureacrats can have feedback to learn from.

for my title "Laughtor" There are a limitted number of smart potential immigrants around: which countries are attracting them, and where will they eventually stay, with future benefit to all? A well thought out plan is needed, or opportunity will go by, for some countries. But I like Oslo's classical music (Bach) and jazz radio.

131001 1913 WHAT FOLLOWS NEXT IS STUFF TRANSFERED FROM MY SLASH POSITION FORMERLY APPEARING ON A FRIEND´S SITE (as “Sky”) WHILE I WAS GETTING USED TO DOING THIS WEBSTUFF. THE CONTENT APPLIES TO MY OTHER FILES ( EDGAR POE, The Edgar Poe Institute for Advanced Esthetic Investigations, ABSTRACT RELATIONSHIP, WHAT´S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?, GUYIN THE SKY).

NOTE: NEXT IS SOME STUFF FROM 1997, WHEN I FIRST STARTED TO WRITE FOR MY PROSPECTIVE WEB SITE. I AM LEAVING IT MESSY FOR ESTHETIC FUN, POSSIBLY AMUSING IN 3003. OF COURSE, AFTER THAT I RETURN TO 2001, WHICH WILL BE NORMALLY ORDERLY. AH YES THERE ARE SOME SPELLING ERRORS (E G OBCESSION). ANYWAY, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE 1997 STUFF, AND ALSO AND AS INTRODUCTION TO THE MIND OF THE AMBASSADOR (ME). BEST WISHES 081101 1824.

Section: x01pageone

Page One

17 feb 97 from SKY (Emperor Candidate & Greatest Philosopher)

page one of infinite.

As founder of The Edgar Poe Institute for Advanced Esthetic Investigations, I am glad to answer the request of someone to share with y'all the wisdom available to my humble self at this time etc. In lieu of introductory paragraf (I spell as I chose within reasn), I ask you to read that of my favourite philosopher, Clausewitz. My Great Theory is what I call: Relationship (capital R) --- i.e. abstract relationship in the cosmic sense. More of that anon. One notion, however, is indispensible immediately: the separation of The Real (as a notion) from The Actual (as a notion). The Real is ultimate; The Actual is immediate. Confusion of Reality, with Actuality, is the besetting sin of the reifiers (and reification is the besetting sin of philosophers generally). Some folks have a grasp of abstraction and some do not; in this an eminent female pianist concurs, and I credit her with that, and maybe I will eventually remember her name and tell you. I fotograffed an egg frying on a piece of bread and showed the foto to several bright people but some failed to see the ancient Greek statue. And some seem unable to grasp the notion that Life Itself may be presumed to have always existed. Some refuse to consider Life Itself to be Abstract. More anon. I mention at the outset that if you take any advice I may offer, it is at your own risk. For example, I use a wooden pillow; but you might hurt yourself or other with one. I shun socks except when quite needed; but be careful. I do not wear neckties; but do not attempt that on Wall Street. I sleep generally according to my own biological rythym, and I record the time. Please do likewise. Eventually we may convince (altho I am NOT in the convincing-business) the so-called experts that regular sleep time is folly. I am also redefining Wealth: what is ten minutes with a loved-one worth?? (What goes under the name "Economics" is not about Wealth.) I will offer you a joke once in a while; what is a laugh worth? And do you really have to go to a barber? Do you really need a car?! Shouldn't public transportation be free? Why don't police actually 'serve and protect' folks? And why do folks fail to demand that they do? Do you know what is taught in your police academy? What is the actual meaning of the jargon-word "legitimation"? In vintage (early) Walt Disney, consider the esthetic pattern of going in and out. Why (a philosopher is one who ceaselessly asks why) do insects and fish and people and The Moon and rocks and trees and animals have faces? And how come we can recognize faces as faces? The answers are: Relationship. We are all in the same cosmic Relationship in its Planet Earth actuality. More anon.

Hachi Machi,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x02relation

Relationship

17 feb 97 from SKY page two

By focusing on Relationship in the large sense, one can find the immediate relationships. Then one can see what is meant by the notion called "logic". Logic is commonly used without direction; like using a compass without a point of reference on the area --- where are you, where have you been, where are you going (to employ Aaron Copland's dictum about listening to Classical Music). Logic has direction; to attempt to use logic without direction, is absurd. But where does one start? Historically, folks have ignored this essential problem, or abdicated to a presumed authority. People would love to do good, but they do not know how. This is especially poignant in the young; but I have yet to meet an adult. Puberty confers power; and confirmation ceremonies attempt to instill responsibility. And parents deny the power of children immanent in posterity. Far better to see the vector (direction of movement in logic) and foster relationship in actual responsibility, recognizing the paramount relationship of child and two GENETIC parents. We speak here and communicate as social beings; we have social responsibility to protect actual relationship for each other and society as we understand it to the best of our ability. But too many people have sold their birthright. On the other hand, it is necessary to relate with others in order to discover one's self in that relationship; but it is a relationship, not aquiescence: action, not mere activity. But who, one cries, is my father and my mother? And the main word is "MY". If my parent is a fool, what can I do?! Why have others failed to teach my parent?? The rest of this page is blank, in mourning for the folly of parents.

Hachi Machi,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x03pillow

Wooden Pillow

18 feb 97 from SKY

I pad my wooden pillow with a deflated hand-ball. I do not mean all parents are lamentable; but societies can be distinguished as forward-looking or backward-looking. Altho a marriage may be ephemeral, parenthood is eternal. Obcession with monogamy is the besetting sin of marriage, burdening children with the sexual foibles of parents. I think obcession looks better with a c (c). The past tense of read should be spelled redd. Let's use the Norwegian word "flink" for skillful. Lovers of Poe ought to study Fuseli (John Henry Fuseli)(Johann Heinrich Fussli). One of my favourite artists. cf "Usher". Ah yes, a wonderful example of Poe as philosopher is "May 3" in "The Journal of Julius Rodman". Make sure when you buy a collection of Poe it has that --- most editions of Poe are full of typos so the main thing is to have "Rodman". Indeed, it is odd that Poe does not get more credit from cosmologists for "Eureka", but anyway he is referring to Humboldt. A bit worrying to have a comet called Hale-Bopp; but good it's not an asteroid. An asteroid is a child of a woman named Astrid. My favourite jazz singer is Blossom Dearie. My favourite opera singer is Magda Olivero. "I did!! He loved it!!" said the man with the penguin to the bartender who the day before had told him to take it to the zoo. It is well to divide each beat into 64 parts, so to speak. And when you look at people, don't neglect their necks. I don't mind smoking; what I mind is being healthy. I wish people in media would stop adding an "E" in words like struggling. I assume Beethoven would have performed his music differntly today. I think folks should not travel unnecessarily; if the plane crashes killing several relatives on their way to a wedding, and a few years later it becomes a divorce, can they turn in their deaths for a refund? And why risk one's life to travel to a funeral?! Soledad, NBC's computers show hostess, screws up her mouth after she says something, and generally looks like a puritan teen plagued by... But anyone is better than Saliva Scott. It is to be noted that Dole steered GOP past the rocks of extremism, thus positioning it for next time. No matter how well I cut my fingernails they keep growing back. I suggest a rolled-up sweatshirt between your thighs at night when one is above the other (by night I mean bed). Birds look like us too. Part of my theory Relationship, is Knot Theory: carry a radio with wire attached from room to room and it will entangle something; this leads to my corollary of Murphy's Law: accident is the mother of evolution (if everything went well we would not be here).

Hachi Machi,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x04youteen.

Be Double you Teen

2 Mar 97 from SKY to Y'all:

Flash: New evidence recently found in a knight squarely places blame (or credit) for the demise of USSR on chess, which drained the best Soviet minds. The evidence is micro-document communication among British agents. Thus is disproved the until now prevailing theory of Azhlikov & Wentobed (blaming a supposed insidious influence by Dostoevski, Tschaikovski and Proust). In a related topic Tolstoi has been shown to not ever have had the name Tallstory (thus debunked is the silly theory that a short story is so called as being any literature not written by Tolstoi). Item: another legal issue is the copyright conflict of the pub chain opening on Mars, intending to call itself Mars bars. Item: Norwegian law courts do not make verbatim records. Item: On its listing for TV for 2nd of march, the major newspaper in Norway ("Aftenposten"), swapped station listings!!!!! The first scientist was Ann X. Perry, and everyone always asked what Ann X. Perry Meant. Perfectionism is an ailment which discourages attempts. The plague of transgenerational indoctrinated insanity includes the fantasy of invincibility, of one's relatives, whether parents or children; and is transmitted by parents imagining children fulfill the expectations of one's own parents for oneself, even if nonexistent. It is also fun to imagine one is a guest in one's body, or absent in one's apartment when actually there. The great thing is paradox. By therapeutically seeing the absurdity of the set-up, one can walk thru the collapsed edifice freely. This is a symbolic pattern available in Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher": as the castle around one falls apart, being not integral, it is left, as one would leave a theater, being ushered out by the abstract Usher imagined in many roles, with paintings as sets, and music performance, the splitting of the curtain and the paradox of death in life. The moon is our spotlight. The tarn Tuanella with the swan Madeline Usher. And life itself sleep-paralysis. Poe also emphasized elsewhere the distinction between mathematics and psychology. I figure Freud's unconscious includes the geometry-like logic incompatible with health: the uninformed patient is victim of, for example, the geometry principle "things equal to the same thing are equal to each other", as follows: my ladyfriend Mary is female and adult, my mother, Elsy, is female and adult; Elsy belongs to Jake, my father; therefore Mary belongs to my father, Jake; accordingly, I must defeat Drammen to qualify to challenge Bergen --- or laugh. Of course, the genders are always reversible in these analyses. Actually I think it would be a good idea to publish the Bible and Koran with genders reversed throughout; easy now with computers, but not necessary once the idea is there, altho maybe edifying for hoi poloi.

My donkey awaits,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x05clock.

Clock

3-3-97 from SKY to 2nd site:

Looking down on struggling humanity, I am reminded of what my first psychiatrist said: "Most people are miserably unhappy". But was my father right, saying: "People are no damn good"? And did he mean it, except occasionally mean it? The special beauty of Internet is: it is anonymous. I do not have to be in the physical presence of folks who might be individually execrable. I can serve mind in general. This relates also to my emphasis on the future as territory: the common attempt to control children reflects an urge to take the future as territory. It is not necessary to attack the body of the adversary, if one can control the minds of posterity, and eliminate in the future those of whom we disapprove. For example, the church folks in USA want to take over social agencies from the secular branch, so as to put people in the clutches of the sectarian forever; they are sure Jehovah is more important than anything else. The situation is now amusing in the greater longevity of people: whereas before all that was needed was to befuddle folks for about sixty years, now... In the meantime, the duration of life has ruptured the common charade of marriage forever. Common notions of permanence are falling apart. This process allows better perception of actual relationships. Each personal relationship is idiosyncratic, precisely defined by itself. And with added years we can find our way in friendship, past the swamps of dogma. Altho adulthood may remain a fantasy Eldorado, the weakening of the power of fear of each other, fear which has for a very long time placed us in the hands of systematic organisers of our interactivity, increasingly enables actual relationship in liberty. What is liberty? Knowledge varies inversely as fear. Grief is the prevailing emotion in society. We seek health, awareness, trust; the seeking in itself is meaningful. In all this, our genetic children are our allies. The coded contact between genetic children and parents is subtle absolute mutual guidance, constant and pervasive, as well as eternal. Find the relationship. Follow the vector. Your own mind is absolute. you are responsible for your thoughts. We all seek the fulfillment of the mind before the decay of the body. The beauty is in the relationship. Relationship defines beauty: we see beauty via relationship --- we share patterns with creatures great and small; patterns physical relate with capacity to respond to patterns shared. Why is there at least one face in the moon? Why do we see them? Coincidence is relationship. The repetition of pattern in time gives form in movement. The relationship between/among pattern, time, form constitutes life itself. The greatest recorded orchestra conductor of all time is Charles Munch.

Best Wishes,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x06obs

OBS!!

5 Mar 97 from SKY to Second Site:

One of the chief dimensions of Murphy's Law Corollary, is human procreation. Some might suggest the human race is doomed due to the prevailing tendency of females to mate the wrong males. But paradoxically some superb people are produced thereby. What is needed is regulation. Accepting the thrust of my Corollary to Murphy's Law, in the area of procreation, society, one way or another, must deal with the problems thrown up by the paradox. The age-old war between family and society needs arbitration in Relationship. Health is NOT natural--- health is an art. The antidote to savagery is teaching. Religion tries to fill the gap between ignorance and awareness, and offers itself as replacement for insight, and in the process acquires a vested interest in preserving itself by replacing thought. In this subversion, religion plays into the normal fear of thinking. The relative domination by one's unconscious, varies as one's fear of thinking. A prime application of this process in actuality, is the inability of many fathers to relate with their daughters. This inability is a veritable plague. One effect of this plague is the ubiquitous pretense that it is more desirable to have a male child than a female child --- father is of course thus saved confrontation with his own natural tabboed urges. St Paul's famous dictum that fantasy is as guilty as fact, is, willy nilly (whether intended or not), instrumental in the campaign of sabotage run by religion against the human race. I say willy nilly, because of course practitioners of religion know not what they do, any more than does anyone else, while they maintain an abiding commitment to harm health as opportunity occurs. Of course the prime sin of the religious, is to take the name of the lord god in vain: this reflects the sibling rivalry of early childhood as to who is the true child (son of god), considered as Oedipal heir and inheriting witch doctor. By the way, having resided in Norway a quarter of a century, I see confirmed my insight into Ibsen's power: Ibsen projects the atavism fixated upon by Norwegians generally. Paradoxically, this atavism is simultaneously Norway's strength: accordingly, as with any neurosis, it is cherished as enabling. Norwegian society manifests a Medieval fondness for caring for the local peasantry linked to the tribe. But also clings to a blindness as to psychological insight, lest the neurotic edifice collapse around the Master Builder. Practical aspects abound in Norwegian everyday-life. The plague of irresponsible parenting is excused by the pretense at social welfare, supposedly obviating inter-generational relationship. The arts in Norway reward the pervading neurosis, giving short-term illusion of value and prize-winning, but leading Norwegian society generally into a fatal cul-de-sac. Norwegian hubris is famous everywhere on Earth. it even has a church: The Norwegian Lutheran Missionary Church. And in Norway the department of education is called The Department of Church and Education. And every effort is made to forstall, delay and prevent the professional education of psychologists, lest the hated insight spread throughout the land.

Let the Thinker Beware,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x07gauntlet

Gauntlet

6-3-97 from SKY to Second Site:

I have heard of a so-called man who is several kinds of coward; having avoided his daughter for 24 years starting when she was 2 years old, she found him and attempted to have normal contact with him, but he was too cowardly to accept her as his daughter openly and fully. Was he too ashamed of his loathsome conduct over the decades? --- conduct that I as a fellow male am nauseated by, and hope will be eliminated in future society, by teaching people early their responsibilities to their children. Is it that he is afraid his colleagues, friends, relations will look down on him? Is what is required for such scoundrels that they be publicly humiliated? Is it necessary for outsiders to point the finger? I imagine him saying to one and all: "I introduce to you my daughter whom I have rejected for decades due to my cowardice, and I now ask you all to respect me as I accept my past guilt, and swear to do better from now on, as well as I can, and stop shaming my fellow males by scurrilous conduct." After all I do not care about him personally; but the plague of such typhoid turds must be stopped, and as what motivates them is shame in their dodging of being human, let them be shamed by name everywhere, so they cannot go to the supermarket without being spat upon. Indeed, they are afraid of their new wives who urge them to forget the past; so let this be openly stated, and let such new wives squirm when they read tales by brothers Grimm about wicked stepmothers. The most important fact in a man's life is his children --- each and every one of them. But as society does not accept this fact, bad fathers get away with murder. The responsibility in all this shared by females is the particular responsibility of the female gender collectively. But when males misbehave, such miscreants are mine; I will do what I can to correct them or destroy them by any means within the law --- that is the responsibility of every right-thinking man.

Snarling,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x08respect

Thou shalt respect thy Child

7-3-97 from SKY to 2nd Site:

Did Robert Frost say we were the nation's before the nation was ours, or did Robert Frost say the nation was ours before we were the nation's (nation, country, land???) All fathers are ours, not merely the possession of Harvey or Jane. Did Rembrandt say Saskia was all women, or did Rembrandt say all women were Saskia? King Solomon had to develop a good sense of timing, what with that extensive harem. My father is mine, but is also part of my universal heritage of all human beings in which I participate as human race. If I allow my father to abuse me personally, I allow him to also abuse all humanity. But of course he expects me to keep it secret. Even Balkan dictators, tho, now experience The Balkan Insurrections. Now is the end of millennium. Recently fathers have been called to account for child abuse; but now is perhaps the correct time to introduce to hoi poloi the notion Adult Child Abuse. It amazes me that friends of victims of Adult Child Abuse stay silent. Of course the culprit relies on the silence of the lambs and the complicity of the shepherds. The lambs bleat merely, and the shepherds pat them on the head. Why is it that the Greek Chorus does not rise up and defeat the wolf? If one has a cockroach in one's hair, should one be taught to put up with it, or be assisted in removing it? One fallacy operative in this area is the confusion of love and responsibility. Responsibility is taught by third parties. Love is experienced only when hindrances have been removed. Love is latent while squalor prevails in the frightened misprogrammed minds of the wolves. Parents generally operate under wrong concepts. I am redefining parenthood. The vector goes from child to parent, in regard to possession: the child owns the parent. The future has the power. This does not go away. The motivation of the wolf is crooked; he is fearful of his pack ---ergo, it is the responsibility of the pack to correct him. The Bosnian Serbs were shown that their allies shunned them: so must the wolves see the rejection of Adult Child Abuse. Of course Adult Child Abuse is primarily psychological and social, rather than physical. Its chief feature is the cowardice of the wolf; these wolves devour at a distance, as well as rend close up. But indirectly they foster violence physical: their victims invite and perpetrate violence of all sorts, misdirecting the hostility and resentment which actually is directed to the wolf. Even the wolves were abused. I call this Squalor. A wolf was approached by his daughter after his decades of hiding, and coincidentally his own father was dying at that moment; did she receive hostility truly associated with his own Pappa??

Let the Child Beware,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x09euclid

Euclid and Jazz

14-3-97 from SKY to 2ndsite:

Listening to Lionel Hampton and Oscar Peterson, I salute y'all, and mention what I believe to be vastly ignored: the immense and historic implications of the phrase in US Declaration of Independence 'LIfe, Liberty, and the Pursuit of HAPPINESS'!!!!! Of course Jefferson (Franklin? Mason?) took from Locke, and Locke's 'Life, Liberty and PROPERTY', became 'LIfe, Liberty, and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS'!!!!! The implications are overwhelming. I will come back to this, but now give you a chance to mull it over. Well, it turns out, from my thought and investigations just starting, that the matter of Father is the key to a new dimension of thought, of immense effect, similar to Euclid's. I feel I must take it gradually to y'all. lest we all drown in the vastness. I mention again Poe's remarks distinguishing between math and what we call psychology. This in itself requires long discussion. Please keep in mind that (or as I believe) in a hundred thousand years folks will look at us as we now look at the apes, and it is now incumbent upon us to ask ourselves how. I have started asking folks about my project of clarifying the status of fathers vis a vis adult children, and have already got some fascinating bits. One fella says he is one of his father's 20 children, and did not get to meet him, his father dying when my friend was forty. Another guy sez he had good relationship with Pappa until he got adult, but then conflict arose; they now communicate, however, by email, mostly (Dad abroad a lot). So, as in dealing with the split infinite, (cf Fowler's marvelous discussion), the great thing is to distinguish. Or, as I like to harp on, BE REASONABLE. (Split infinitive, of course, ho ho.) But then, after sincere effort by reasonable adult offspring, a parent plays possum, cowardly avoiding contact, we must take arms (and the pen is mightier than the sword) against a sea of troubles, and, by opposing, end them. Let us all with our united strength bring back these prodigal parents. I put it to you that they know not what they do, and will rejoice at the freedom we offer from the chains of incidental inhibition by inadequate social mores: let us offer countervailing social pressure, outweighing the fatuous embarrassments that kill.

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x10culture

Culture is fun

Culture is Fun

16-3-97 from SKY to 2nd site:

Why not attack bad parents? Attacking bad parents is fun. Or is there some reverence for parents even when they are bad?! Secrecy accrues when something has not been described or defined: Unless child abuse exists as a concept in society, it cannot attain the status of crime; as long as adult child abuse is not described or defined, the perpetrators cannot be identified and punished. Punishment takes many forms: no TV next week, hanging, etc. Punishment is how we let people know we don't like something; it may be simply ignoring them at the supermarket. By the way, refried beans are wonderful. And crime is not only a matter of law; it is anything we disapprove of. You see, professions take over areas of thought as if things to be hoarded; it is a perversion of intent to achieve. So we must emphatically distinguish between law and society, as to relationships among individuals and types of individuals. And on the other hand the individual must have clearly in mind that law does not protect from social pressure per se; it is necessary to perceive where the fine line occurs between law and social pressure: the vector goes from the latter to the former, whether in common law or constitutional law --- we get what law we demand. It is crude to contend that society at large reflects the family; there is a fundamental battle between family and society. Relationship Theory addresses the relationship between family and society at large. A basic fallacy prevents much healthy contact: the confusion between contact itself, and a decision to like. This is complicated by the confusion of identification; ie. that to like is to be like. Indeed, one must always be on guard against emulating one's colleagues; to escape this obligation, folks pretend they agree with friends: this leads eventually to catastrophe. Part of the energy driving social resentments derives from exasperation at failing to be the same as someone else, eg. mate or parent or messiah. This locked chamber of compressed energy explodes in community rage, itself being unitary; eg. wrath at Darwin. Relationship Theory says, relax into your diversity; the universe is inclusive. Consider that your genetic relationships are distinct from all other, due precisely and solely to the unique genetic bond, which you share with all your genetic ancestors as well as progeny. Reasonable disagreements of any sort are irrelevant in this context. Furthermore, any social pressure against contact among people genetically related is likewise absurd. These considerations are of most importance in the relationship between parent and child; the child

needs

the genetic parent --- the vector goes from child to parent: as much as the parent needs the child, the child needs the parent absolutely more (indeed, it is the parent's awareness of this that often makes agonizingly poignant to the parent any separation). Of course, to the child, awareness that the parent's motives for separation from the child are silly, exasperates and gives a sense of bad destiny; people want to believe their destiny is good and reasonable; not perverse and malign. In this sense, genetic parents have an obligation beyond their own wishes or convenience, due to the putative nature of relationships: the individual who happens to be the genetic parent has a role as if in a movie: he or she is in a sense the anonymous bearer of a load of family genes, and psychologically represents fatherhood or motherhood to the mind of the next generation --- we are (each) one manifestation of the gene pool behind us genetically in time. Our ancestors are watching; we are obligated to them as well as to our own (and their) descendants. Why not??

Sincerely,

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x11diego

re: San Diego Massacre

1-4-97 from SKY to: Katie Couric, "Today Show" NBC, NYC, USA (30 Rockefeller Plaza):

Altho I myself do not take seriously the notion of UFOs, I refer you to the description (report) by Cotton Mather of a Salem witch trial: it is chilling, in that, once believing in witches, today's courts would be hard pressed (forgive the pun) to reject the evidence. It is alarming that many many people do indeed believe in UFOs, and are accordingly one step away from emulating San Diego.

Altho I do not like the hostess on NBC's "The Site", I occasionally check it out, and recently the guru Stahl referred to the mentality of the computer hyper-literate --- maybe get him on "Today". We may be looking at a coming wave of upcoming youth lost to the world of reasonableness: like Murphy chess players programmed to self destruct.

Altho the San Diego victims may have been successful, were they nonetheless (in their own subconscious sense) in an economic cul de sac??

Coincidentally, recently (January?) you (K.C.) used an expression from Dorothy Parker's "The Cost of Living" (I considered sending you a copy of me reading it --- it is one of my favourites) --- note the sense of despair in the loyalty of the characters.

I wonder if it has been mentioned that the names Tee and Do are not only puns on golf and to actually do something, and that the Norwegian word for toilet is "do" (after drinking tea), they also state resolution (completion) in Solfege harmony, being the eleventh and twelfth of the twelve tone scale (one wonders if successors may use music harmony codes), and the names in the C-Major scale (n.b. scale=climb) are B and C (Before Christ). By the way, is there something in the name San Diego??

I wonder if the San Diego victims (of their own folly) were displeased with life on Earth (besides the notion of "recycling"). I myself am horrified that even such a guru as Harrison Ford said (twice) "I" when it should have been "me" ("Today"/KC). Also, "different from" has been pushed aside for years, dammit. And has the word "etcetera" succumbed to the lazy "eksetera"?????!!!!!

But, K C: some time ago you said you told your daughter people would not like her if she persisted doing something (I forget what it was): I hope you at last see the error in that, especially after your recent interview of the lady who encourages assertiveness in female children --- other-directedness is a fatal double bind. Teach her to make decisions based on my 3points: thought, imagination, courage.

Sleeping as they did in San Diego (many to a room)(not shbui)(or were they set up like that only for the suicide etc??), each may have longed unconsciously to be alone (and did no-one snore?), and, as with car drivers using mobil fones, a part of their neural function may have been absorbed in imagining themselves somewhere else (part of brain-washing??).

But, besides avoiding the swirling abyss, one needs character including a balanced sense of reasonableness --- precisely what is discouraged ubiquitously: usually the unskilled riders fall in the kindergarten, but when they bike at the edge of the pit...

Best wishes to you, the best interviewer on TV.

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x12elian

Elian Ping-Pong

Jan 19, 2000 from SKY

Sometimes a cigar is only a little boy from Havana. But clearly this is a case for X Files -- space Elian found in a family triangle. Worse than how Reagan was given alzheimer by sabotage in oval office. Are we to assume that a six year old has made the political decision to flee his home and homeland and father??? Perhaps Elian manipulated his mother to leave his father, marry some weakminded pussywhipped jerk and swim to Disneyland with Elian on their backs. Of course if USA had proper laws and practice to protect the relationship between the child and both genetic parents, the Cubans would not be so obviously on the side of the angels on this one -- embarrassing, what, to have the butcher of Havana show us up (yes, I am a Massachusetts Liberal) as family savages. I guess Castro (a lawyer) is laughing, in the sure knowledge that the law is all on his side, and the Hague (not the general, the court in Holland) would have to say the obvious: the boy found at sea goes home with all deliberate speed -- home being chez pappa, not the Pinocchio circus of mamma's drooling relatives, who maybe thought up the whole bit: get rid of that slouch Elian's genetic father who does not want to leave Cuba, marry some patsy, and sneak over to Miami to be dominated by us sly relatives with cars -- easy to exploit Uncle Sam, what??? So what is for the best for the child? -- imagine it: mamma says let's risk all our lives (even if the boy survives and we do not he of course will be traumatized, if not by relatives and media, then by the incidental fact of everybody including mamma dying all around him) including the boy's, to satisfy relatives and my immature lust for disneyland and make-up. Of course it would be silly to apply in a normal manner to go to USA, especially with the nitwit father, who wants to stay in Cuba -- too bad mamma had to reproduce sexually instead of cloning (or of course maybe she didn't care about the brat at all, the selfish bitch. But USA can use the charade as Nixon used ping-pong, as an opening to communication with the Cuban people in Cuba, especially as we all see the depravity of the exile Cubans in USA in the light of the Elian crap. And more importantly, let us put our own house in order, by straightening out our own laws and practices to protect the relationship between a child and the two (there are always two and only two) genetic (natural) parents (biological)(but genetic is more precise, as it is a matter of genes). It sure don't seem as mamma respected the relationship between kid and pappa -- maybe she was really using USA merely to take the kid and run so as to get rid of the annoyance of pappa (there is no limit to the unreasonable selfishness of megalomaniac mammas (or yea even pappas). What kind of society will be best for kids when they get to be so-called adults?????

SKY

<-BACK | TOPLEVEL | ARCHIVE | NEXT->

Section: x13abuse

Adult-Child-Abuse

21 Jan, 2000 from ELF ROBERT CHADIS

Here I am again after all these months or years. I still have complaints about the errant father of my dear friend Friend. His behavior has not improved. I now call it psychopathic. Why else would he avoid her????? I now initiate my political campaign to achieve real laws about it: within a few decades there should be laws criminalizing his sort of conduct. He disappeared when she was two years old (altho she was residing with her unmarried mother in another town very near Oslo. Altho he continued to send child-support (the laws here are strict about that) he was absent all her young life, busy with his wife and then divorce and second wife and including two daughters and a son by these (having married or almost so during the time Friend was still a foetus). He is now and has been for many years an engineer specializing in hydraulics, and now with his own firm in Oslo. But even after she took contact with him when she was about 26 years old, he has persisted in avoiding her. He told her this past summer that altho he felt sorry for her he was not interested in contact with her, altho he pretends to be available to her, while avoiding her. Nice guy. He complained to her (but of course I am only getting all this by her report) that the other members of his family avoid him. One wonders why, poor guy. Anyway, such people need to be treated as if they are still children: he has to be made to behave, and should have been all along. That is why we need laws to deal with the doubtless millions of such renegades and shames to my male gender (but of course there are tons of similar female genetic parents, and I can only wonder why Friend's mother did not remedy the situation herself throughout all; those childhood years. Him's type of behavior is a plague from generation to generation and must be stopped. The psychological and cultural consequences are terrible. He even is uncooperative in Friend's efforts to contact her siblings (his other children). Now, in my opinion, his behavior is what I will call Adult-Child-Abuse (ACA). He abused her psychologically throughout her young years by his absence, and continues to torment her psychologically (and very likely intentionally) as an adult (she is now 38). She of course has by definition been deprived of the psychological strength a father would have given her, and accordingly is not able to deal realistically with him. At the same time she discourages interference by an outsider, as she pretends it is her problem - but of course it is only an outsider who is able to deal with Him; if we were dealing in an extended family some relative might have layn down the law to Him a long time ago (or maybe not). But she is like a person at the bottom of a sledding hill, trying to get up against the tide of down-coming sleds: the only way to get up is by going to the side, out of the path of the flood of sleds: what is needed is an attack from the side by an outsider; that is why we have over the years taken such matters out of the hands of the victims (especially as people like Him depend on secrecy and a free hand to perpetuate their habit of torment). How he became what he is I can only conjecture. Was he psychologically abused as a child????? One effect of his avoidance of Friend over the years is her not ever meeting his father (he died just about the time she started to take contact with Him), and Friend only met his mother accidentally a couple of times shortly before she died (the mother of Him did not arrange a grand family meeting to solve all these problems - one can only wonder at her weakness and why and what it involved long ago). To get laws to enforce contact between such errant parents as Him and their genetic offspring, and to force them to not prevent contact between the siblings, we need to clarify attitudes as to the relationship between a child and its genetic parents. I would like to see some sort of police offer a parent like Him a choice when he disappears when the child is two years old: either you maintain good regular contact or we will put you behind bars and arrange supervised meetings at the prison farm. I would like to see an agency ensuring ease of contact among siblings, and punishment for interference against such contact. Of course first and now what we have is social pressure. When we speak of what is for the best of the child, we have to include what is best for posterity: we hold in our communal hands the welfare of posterity. Crimes against the mental health of individuals become seeds of crime as well as direct misery into the far distant future. There is no justification for standing idly by while nuts pollute our friends and the future friends of our posterity with psychological ailments (which is what Him's behavior constitutes). Indeed, society at large owes it to the sick Him's as well as to their victims. I am pointing out a plague that must be dug out from under the carpet, like any other form of child-abuse. Let us triumph in this campaign 'though it take decades. Please unite with me in this, in a committee of correspondence.

SKY

131001 1947 THAT WAS THE STUFF FROM THE SLASH I HAD ON A FRIEND´S SITE. (THE SLASH WAS CALLED “SKY”)