what do men want?
what do men want? 21jun01 03:40am Can it be that some very foolish men want to delight in having propagated and left, imagining themselves some sort of cavalier wiseguy???!!! During the course of our lives we naturally healthily want if possible children, and not merely in fact of existence, but also being together with. Men who lose sight of this basic reality eventually regret the folly of having sacrificed life´s most profound fulfillment. To be actually unable to have a child is truly unfortunate. To have a child and ignore that person is perverse. Societies that encourage such perversity are self-destructive.
270601 0531 Men want precisely the same that women want---it is precisely the avoidance of this truth that causes combat between the genders: indeed, it is the pretense that men do not want what women want that leads the men to pretend that the men do not want to be parents. Men are afraid they may not be distinguishable from women; but when I say “men”, of course I mean men in a social world , distorted by the kids around them and the twisted parents of the children they must cope with in the schoolyard and the neighborhood, not to mention having to deal with the crappy adults directly.
So life is war.
280601 1944 Of course, it is not the same in your childhood home as it would be on a battlefield with enemies shooting at you; but life proceeds in time, and time is like blood: your energy in time wasted is like bleeding, or worse. Your very being can be so distorted, and your healthy potential so removed that you be well and truly harmed, in a serious long-lasting way; and this can be a plague, with your disorder preventing you from healthily participating with others, whether incidental contacts or your own descendants and anyone in between, in a spectrum of relative intimacy.
060701 There is a pattern of behavior I call “single-sided erotic”: an individual sees sex as something he does , as opposed to shares.
250701 16:48 Notice the differences: cultured people drawing nude models; boors at strip shows; extreme boors in movies at strip shows.
140801 03:35 What about all those kids from anonymous sperm/egg donors?! Is there a field of psychology dedicated to them?????!!!!!
290801 0442 Are some men so depraved that they get a macho kick out of killing a gorilla or a chimp or a bonobo?!
0443 It can be easier for a prepubert or an early teen, male, or even female, to be bad than to be good --- we ask them to be Gary Cooper; we should support them in this.
0454 How about the Pre Puberty Syndrom; I know some psychologists specialize in this phase of life. Are there any in Norway (a psychotherapy backwater).
0538 For what it´s worth, this from the book “Bonobos, the (i forget) ape”: (p 76): “Had these sons been chimpanzees, they would no doubt have banded together to defend their positions collectively. In Bonobos, however, male alliances are little developed, which allows females to exert much greater influence.” Anyway, I guess it´s a ‘round robin, of course. This of course has to do with the prepubert boys in the backyard.
0630 In divorce, there are certain advantages, paradoxically, which those who are together should learn from: the time spent alone, etc.
0659 Men tend to go outside their bodies, and women the opposite. Obvious is philosophy.
131001 1904 note: I said “tend” ---
torsdag 25. oktober 2001 22:35 To explain why men under stress beat wives, is like explaining why bin Laden types bomb USA --- they are bad: they consider their wives to be “whipping boys”, suitable for taking out own`s wrath upon: they have a wrong concept . I suggest a correct concept. And it has to be taught throughout life. USA can learn from wife-beaters ailments what are the ailments of terrorists --- they do it because they figure they can and should get away with it (dying is irrelevant to getting away with it (indeed it is part of getting away with it)(wife beating is a form of suicide psychologically --- an acceptance of outside-the-healthy-ness). Complaining is one thing, terrorism is quite another. Terrorism should be analysed like wife-beating, as aberrant behavior, and not as having content --- terrorism does not have content, it has only aberration; the suicide is one who commits suicide, not one who has complaints. Obviously, we all have complaints --- it is the aberrant act that defines the ailment, distinct from any complaints --- or, as a psychiatrist said, everyone wants to kill someone, but only the nuts do it.torsdag 8. november 2001 18:44 A SUBTLE BIT: REGRESSION AS LOVING, AND/OR RELATIONSHIPING (neolog): this must be permitted, and not mocked; a moment of friction can coordinate with regression play --- how we were (or might have been) in early (sorta) childhood. If this is refused, the way may yawn for violent impulses, needing to be renounced (put aside). Much wiser to play and include in relationship these silly moments. cf Clausewitz (“On War” --- chapter, “On Friction”)......